In a Waiting Room

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Last week my husband was scheduled of out-patient surgery. The situation had changed significantly from my January 2022 outpatient surgery experience when Covid-19 protocols closed waiting rooms. The expectation now is that patients have a person, usually a family member, that stays at the waiting room during the surgery. We left for the hospital at 5 AM and were home by a little after 11 AM.

We went to the lobby registration desk for initial sign in…and were given a buzzer like restaurants sometimes use. Within a few minutes of sitting down, the buzzer went off and we went with an administrative person to make sure all the payment information was correct. Back in the waiting room for a few minutes…and we were called again by a person to take us back to the pre/post op area. I helped my husband into the hospital gown and socks….put all his clothes in a bag that I would keep (that was the expectation…and I found myself wishing his clothes were not as bulky). The anesthesiologist and surgeon came to talk to us. By 7:15 AM he was prepped and on his way to the OR and I was on my way to the waiting room. I had been given a number so I could track his status on the screens there. I checked in at the desk …in anticipation of the surgeon coming out after the surgery was complete to talk with me.

I filled the time between 7:15 AM and 9:35 AM in that waiting room. Getting a pastry from the bakery/café for breakfast was my first activity. I had loaded some novels on my phone for reading material. I made 3 Zentangle tiles. The time passed relatively quickly. The area was not crowded but it was clear that there were quite a few morning surgeries. One man lay down on one of the longer bench chairs and napped. Most people were reading on their phones; I didn’t hear a single phone ‘ring’ so people must have followed direction to silence them. The green plastic bags with patient’s clothes were near every person in the waiting room! I kept my daughter apprised of the everything via texts.

Everyone must have been a little anxious…most seemed hyper alert (except for the one person that slept) but at the same time relatively calm and appreciative of the quiet, calm demeanor of people at the reception desk in the room….they set the tone.  

The waiting room had small rooms at each end where the conversations with the surgeon could happen in private. There was a picture of a dogwood in bloom on the wall in the room I was assigned. The surgeon came in…reported positive results…talked about the recovery instructions which would be printed and provided to us by the nurse. I was back in the waiting room for a few minutes before they gave me a post op room number where my husband was.

He was groggy still from the anesthesia. He seemed to be very challenged to rank the amount of pain he was feeling. It took about an hour for him to eat a snack and get dressed…meet the criteria for being released.

I called my daughter to meet us at our house since I wasn’t sure how mobile he really was. When we got home, I held onto his arm to go into the house…and used the path with the fewest steps. It was slow going but we managed, and he immediately took a nap. The pain med he was given just before he left the hospital had taken effect!

Sustaining Elder Care – May 2025

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My sisters had shared with me that Dad seemed to be sleeping more…rebelling at doing physical therapy because he was too tired. But he seemed alert and, while not enthusiastic about doing physical therapy, he acquiesced and did reasonably well. He went outside to sit on the patio while I watered the garden too. When we came back in, he complained that he couldn’t see.

He did go to an eye specialist since my last visit. They confirmed that his vision is one eye is very limited (light/dark only) and that the eye pressure is still too high to preserve the vision in the other. New eye drops were prescribed, and they seem to be reducing the pressure considerably. But….there is already damage. I suspect that coming from bright light (outdoors) to indoor lighting is a problematic time because his eyes don’t adjust to the change very quickly. I guided his walker until we got to the puzzle table.

His eyesight makes the puzzles more challenging than ever, but he still manages to place a few pieces…although I am not sure how he does it. We finished a puzzle that was already mostly done during my afternoon visit. He is still pleased when the puzzle is finished – it’s an accomplishment. This time there was a piece we found on the tray that was obviously too small of the current puzzle (and there was not a hole for another piece)! A little mystery.

The next morning, I arrived before his breakfast. I took a few pictures of the big trees in front of his assisted living residence while I waited for them to open the door. Now that he is not going on walks around the neighborhood, he doesn’t see them very often.

We took the completed puzzle apart and started a new one. He takes longer to find edge pieces (always the first step). I think he is doing it totally by feel now. We made the frame, minus one piece, before breakfast was served and I left to begin my drive back to Missouri while he enjoyed it.

Springfield ArtsFest

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The annual ArtsFest in Springfield MO was the first weekend in May. My daughter and I went on the Sunday morning. It was just us this year – our spouses deciding to do other things. The temperature was a little cool, but the sun was shining. We parked in the nearby MSU parking garage and then walked over to the festival.

One of my fellow master naturalists was volunteering at the entrance table! We walked down the street fair with booths lining the way. There were lots of earrings but I am not wearing them as much as I used to, so I didn’t browse them. Hats might be my new ‘souvenir’ purchase since I tend to wear more of them now; there weren’t any booths that had hats at the Artsfest!

I did find the stainless-steel yard art vendor– which I had purchased from twice before. I bought two iris sculptures this year. The new teal one gets a spotlight of sun in the afternoon near my white pine. I looked up the name of the company from the Artsfest list of vendors: Uniquely Yours Metal.

Afterwards we went out to lunch at a Mexican food restaurant. I enjoyed the mural in their entrance…colorful botanical.

Back at my daughter’s house, the clematis was blooming on her gate and we discovered a buckeye sapling that is coming up in a place she can leave it to grow!

Training and Volunteering in Lebanon MO

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I had responded to a request from a fellow Missouri Master Naturalist for a program last weekend – a little bit of training and volunteering about an hour from where I live. There was heavy rain for the drive there – but it was weekend and the traffic was not as heavy as usual on the interstate. Fortunately, the first part was training so I could destress after the drive. I wandered around the Route 66 museum that is housed in the same building with the library. It was interesting – lots of items specific to Lebanon and then more broadly to Route 66. Much was before my memories began so I would have appreciated a few more dates for the pictures and newspaper articles. I enjoyed seeing the displays….glad I don’t have to drive over any ‘bone-jarring Ozark rock roads’!

I do vaguely remember one of my grandmothers having a wringer washing machine in the barn in the early 60s so that was something in the museum that looked familiar.

Then I had a brief training on the nature touch tables set up in the foyer of the library/museum. There were skulls and rocks and pelts and snake models/skins/id puzzles and pictures of caves and wildlife there – a bat preserved in acrylic. Handouts for each topic from Missouri Department of Conservation were available and many people took at least one. The snake booklets were probably the most popular.

I’m learning a lot about different parts of Missouri through Missouri Master Naturalist volunteering…I like feeling more familiar with the state where I now live and interacting with people!

Life Magazine from 1937

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Internet Archive has digitized versions of many Life Magazines. I have been browsing through them – slowly since there was an issue for each week. As I looked at the issues from 1937, I thought about my parents; they started school that year. They were probably still very focused on things going on within their family and small community rather than the broader world…but the world was heading into a time of turmoil. Looking at the way Life was covering those events seems relatively naïve now! The sample images (one from each weekly magazine) show a variety of topics the Life editors chose to cover over the course of the year. Most of the ‘color’ pages of the magazine were advertisements.

Life Magazine 1937-01-04 – a lot of public works projects in the past 4 years

Life Magazine 1937-01-11  - Margaret Sanger and birth control

Life Magazine 1937-01-18 – Chinese farmer in California

Life Magazine 1937-01-25 – US Army planes

Life Magazine 1937-02-01 – Roosevelt’s second inauguration  - a rainy day

Life Magazine 1937-02-08 – Mississippi flooding; levee dynamited at Cairo, Illinois

Life Magazine 1937-02-15 – US Supreme Court’s new building

Life Magazine 1937-02-22 – Marian Anderson

Life Magazine 1937-03-1 – Building the Golden Gate Bridge (accident)

Life Magazine 1937-03-8 – Sun Valley sky lifts

Life Magazine 1937-03-15 – British crown

Life Magazine 1937-03-22 – Irving parachute

Life Magazine 1937-03-29 – Palm Springs

Life Magazine 1937-04-05 – HMS Glorius in winter maneuvers

Life Magazine 1937-04-12 – Mussolini in North Africa…a Roman city in the sand

Life Magazine 1937-04-19 – Queen Mary with 3 grandchildren…Elizabeth II as a young girl

Life Magazine 1937-04-26 – Neville Chamberlain as Chancellor of the Exchequer

Life Magazine 1937-05-03 – British rearmament

Life Magazine 1937-05-10 – Germans celebrate Hitler’s birthday

Life Magazine 1937-05-17 – Dionne quintuplets at 3

Life Magazine 1937-05-24 – Coronation Day at Buckingham Palace

Life Magazine 1937-05-31 – Golden Gate Bridge from one of the piers

Life Magazine 1937-06-07 – University of Virginia

Life Magazine 1937-06-14 – Washington DC from the air

Life Magazine 1937-06-21 – Dust Bowl

Life Magazine 1937-06-28 - Telephone

Life Magazine 1937-07-05 – River Jordan and Jewish farms

Life Magazine 1937-07-12 – Audubon Association protects birds

Life Magazine 1937-07-19 - British air fleet after rearmament

Life Magazine 1937-07-26 – Typical day for a 12-week-old baby

Life Magazine 1937-07-26 – US wheat belts

Life Magazine 1937-08-09 – Mapping the battle at dawn

Life Magazine 1937-08-16 – Wall Streeters commute by plane

Life Magazine 1937-08-23 – Niagara Falls

Life Magazine 1937-08-30 – Maine trotters

Life Magazine 1937-09-06 – Texaco advertisement

Life Magazine 1937-09-13 – Nephew of Geronimo

Life Magazine 1937-09-20 – Prime Minister’s Kitchen

Life Magazine 1937-09-27 – Nazi parades

Life Magazine 1937-10-04 – American Legion parade

Life Magazine 1937-10-11 – Joe Kennedy and merchant marine stagnation

Life Magazine 1937-10-18 – Armstrong Linoleum advertisement

Life Magazine 1937-10-25 – Natives of Northwest Canada

Life Magazine 1937-11-01 – Man O’ War…256 ‘children’

Life Magazine 1937-11-08 – 100-inch telescope for Mt. Wilson

Life Magazine 1937-11-15 – Flying Dreadnought

Life Magazine 1937-11-21 – America as an exporting nations: raw cotton, automobiles, fruits

Life Magazine 1937-11-29 – Nursery furniture

Life Magazine 1937-12-06 – Japanese depiction of dying afternoon of Manchu China and garish dawn of Westernized Japan

Life Magazine 1937-12-13 – Train engines (billions of dollars and millions of men)

Life Magazine 1937-12-20 – Christmas is in the air

Life Magazine 1937-12-27 - $300/minute to operate the set for MGM’s musical Rosalie

Sustaining Elder Care – April 2025

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My dad had his 94th birthday this past month – his second in the assisted living home. My sisters provided special foods and balloons over at least 3 days. One of the celebrations was shared with the staff and other residents of the assisted living home.

I visited before his birthday and was pleasantly surprised that the physical therapy sessions had improved his physical stamina since my visit in late February. He was able to stand up from sitting more easily…and we walked outdoors for about half the distance he had been doing last fall (so not fully recovered but trending positive).

He was a bit more alert when we worked on one of the puzzles I brought with me…for a little less than an hour. When he is tired and ready to quit, he complains about not being able to see well; there is probably a permanent impairment in one eye…and his readers always seem to need cleaning which might impact his sight in the other eye.

He talked a little more (although some of what he said was clearly gleaned from sometime long ago rather than recently). He admitted that much of what he thinks about seems to be happening recently, but it is too much to really all be in the past few weeks! He seemed more interested in the slideshow that one of my sisters put together to play on his television during the day. It doesn’t include people (which he would have trouble identifying) …it focuses on places he visited…farm machinery that he might remember from his growing up. The tractors are always a favorite.

I only see him once a month. Sometimes it seems like he is declining…and there is a slight recovery. The last visit was a “recovery” and I am looking forward to the next visit …hoping the trend continues.

Ten Little Celebrations – March 2025

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Lots of early spring celebrations in March!

Trout Lilies. One of the high points of our hike at Cedar Gap Conservation area was seeing trout lilies blooming down by the stream…as celebration of the new season.

Bald Eagles. The serendipity of seeing two bald eagles soaring over Springfield was another celebration of our Cedar Gap field trip. They seemed to be heading north so might have been migrating through as eagles do in the spring.

Tenure. My son-in-law was granted tenure at Missouri State University. It’s a major milestone to celebrate.

Pinecones. The wind caused pinecones to fall from our shortleaf pine and I picked up a bag of them for my sister. We both celebrated in anticipation of the fun projects she’ll do with her grandson.

Redcedar. I transplanted a small eastern redcedar that came up in my flowerbed to the place in my yard that I want it grow….and celebrated that it stayed upright even with the high winds that came along in March. It will make a great addition to the bird habitat near our patio!

Physical therapy. I celebrated that the physical therapy my dad is doing seem to be helping him recover his mobility after an illness in February.

Covid booster. My husband and I both got a booster in March…celebrated how easy it is to do at our pharmacy. We both have managed to never have Covid.

Loess Bluffs National Wildlife Refuge. Celebrating snow geese and swans…and all the other birds at the refuge.

Orchids. The Missouri Botanical Gardens (St. Louis) Orchid Show is quite a celebration of flowers. It will probably become an early spring tradition for us from now on!

Volunteer opportunities. I am celebrating that there are so many great volunteer opportunities…lots of variety which I will continue to explore this year.

Road Trip to Dallas in March 2025

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I left home before 6 AM and, because of the shift to daylight savings time, it was very dark for the first hour of the trip. It had been very windy the day before and cold overnight…with snow flurries. Fortunately, it was too windy and not cold enough for any accumulation. I made my usual first stop at a Loves just west of Joplin, before entering Oklahoma. I have made the trek so many times that I am very familiar with the places I like to stop. The next stop is at the Loves when I get off the turnpike at Big Cabin to go south on US 69/75. I buy a protein drink for breakfast. Stop three is at a QT in Muskogee where I buy gas this time. I stop at the Loves in Atoka for a cookie and then the Anna TX Whataburger for lunch…and then I am at the assisted living residence to visit with by dad.

I find him awake and in his rocking chair in his room. We do a round of physical therapy, and he seems resigned to doing the exercises. I notice when he stands up from the rocker that he seems stronger than he did in February after he’d had a short illness. The PT seems to be helping. We walked a bit outdoors…not around the block completely but about half the distance and he didn’t seem exhausted afterwards like he did back in January. I noticed that the redbuds are beginning to bloom, and the evergreen shrubs are getting new leaves. Afterward we disassemble a completed puzzle and put it in its box….started a new one – almost completing the frame before he complained that he can’t see well enough to continue. It had been about 2 hours since I arrived…about the max that he can enjoy at this point.

When I get to the hotel – there is no one at the front desk so I use that as a prompt to walk around outside for about 10 minutes; the afternoon temperature was in the upper 60s and the sun was shining. It was a pleasant afternoon. I took a few pictures of river rocks in one bed… some fiber curves of a yucca, and some mistletoe in a tree. There were drifts of leaves in areas of the parking lot where cars don’t park frequently….and a cedar branch that got painted red when the ‘no parking’ curbs were re-painted.

I focused on my own physical therapy for part of the evening! The food for my dinner that I brought from home worked well – I was glad I didn’t have to go anywhere else once I got to the hotel. I was still feeling the impact of the walk with my dad – must have been enough of some kind of pollen that caused my sinuses to drain (runny nose and sneezes) that continued until the early morning hours.

The next morning, I was up at my usual time and having the hotel breakfast shortly after 6:30 AM when they opened. I headed to the assisted living residence by about 7:20. It was the morning rush in the Dallas suburbs. The route is a main thoroughfare with lights but there was more honking of horns than I remembered from previous trips. My focus shifted to my dad for the hour and half I was with him.

Someone had opened the blinds on his window, and he was noticing the sun shining on the neighboring house’s chimney and then roof. I remembered to water the outdoor raised beds that my sister has planted; it was too cool outdoors to take my dad with me. After I returned, he was ready to work on the puzzle. We finished the frame and made some progress on the interior. He complained that he couldn’t see well enough about the time the staff started serving breakfast and I left. I took pictures of the rocks around the circular driveway of the assisted living residence…mostly sandstone, I think.

I had noticed on the drive down, that my stress level while driving seemed high so I decided to try keeping my thoughts more concentrated on the present rather than planning for events and activities coming up in the next few weeks. I noticed more things along the way:

  • License plates – Maine and Wisconsin were two further afield ones. Most were Texas, Oklahoma, and then, once I was close to home, Missouri. The Cherokee and Choctaw license plates were the most numerous tribal plates.

  • The cars that seemed to be trying to go faster than anyone else – darting from lane to lane on the highway – had Texas plates until I got into Missouri. Then it was Missouri drivers going way over the speed limit (more than 10 mph faster). They tended to get on the bumper of the car not going fast enough in front of them too.

  • There are some trees I recognize going down the road. Sycamores are easy to spot in winter and they haven’t leafed out yet…so they are still distinctive. The Bradford/Callery pears and redbuds are blooming right now so they are easy to ID. The Callery pears (escaped Branford pears) are more frequently seen near towns…where Bradford Pears were planted, birds ate the seeds and then carried them nearby. Sometimes they are half the trees in abandoned fields…along with eastern redcedars. The redcedars are native but they are more numerous now than they were historically because they thrive in damaged soil without periodic fires to control their numbers. The native redbuds are blooming…full bloom in Texas and buds transitioning to bloom in Missouri.

  • There are the always some roadkill that I notice. The most frequent this trip was skunks, but I saw a few racoons as well.

  • There are train tracks along US 69 in Oklahoma. Most were moving. When they were moving in the same direction I was traveling, I could tell that I was going faster than the train!

  • The wind was picking up dust in some places. It wasn’t always visible, but I could hear it when it hit my car. There was more trash along the sides of the road…caught in fences and trees or it would have just continued moving. My eyes felt itchy for much of the drive.

  • As I go closer to home, I noticed several cars that were packed with belongings – the rear window filled with what looked like clothes. I wondered if it was college student going back to school after spring break – with a lot of clean clothes!

When I got home, I checked the ‘stress’ metric that is recorded by my Garmin Lily…and it was lower than it had been on the previous day while I was driving! So – focusing on the ‘present’ is helpful!

Sustaining Elder Care – March 2025

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The fragile consensus between my father’s 4 daughters has deteriorated over the past month. The combination of his Covid week in February and the reduction of physical activity that often happens in the winter has caused a decline in his physical condition. His doctor noticed the delta before and after Covid – setting up a round of physical therapy to help him recover. Tensions became high when the PT person asked about one of the drugs he was on. Two of the 4 daughters apparently forgot when and why the decision was made re the drug and highly emotional conversations ensued. The food the assisted living residence provides was a hot topic again too. It was stressful to all and is not resolved except that we are all trying to do the best we can for our father….and hoping we keep him comfortable even while we are struggling emotionally behind the scenes.

While it is stressful to have a parent that cannot always make his wishes known or care for himself. We have delegated his baseline day to day care to the assisted living residence, but my sisters and I can strive to provide some ‘extras’ – activities we can enjoy with him like taking a short walk, working on a puzzle, and getting a vegetable garden started. I found 2 more 300-piece puzzles when I volunteered at my local library; I’ll take them next time I go to Dallas.

Ten Little Celebrations – February 2025

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February was busier than usual this year – a combination of a class, a new role for me in the Missouri Master Naturalist chapter, and some significant volunteer hours. It all made for plenty of little celebrations.

Owl Pellets. Having 28 children busily dissecting owl pellets – finding and identifying tiny bones. I celebrated that we picked something they all seemed to enjoy doing all the way to the end of our time (and a little beyond).

A new protein drink. Another whey-based protein drink that already has lactase added…worth celebrating for the convenience (and also because it is not as thick or expensive as the one I had been buying).

Niece going to have another baby. My sisters and I celebrated that there will be another baby in the family next fall. My sister that is the grandmother shared the news with us almost as soon as she found out.

Snowy Feeder Watch day. I celebrated the extra birds that came to our feeders when snow was on the ground.

Seeing lots of Northern Harriers. I celebrated seeing Northern Harriers on our field trip to Lockwood MO. We’d seen them before in New Mexico but not as many…and it’s thrilling to see them closer to where we live.

Lunch with my daughter. My daughter and I have been meeting for lunch a Student Union dining room after my geology class. It feels celebratory every time we meet (and we generally have dessert too).

Finding witch hazel. I celebrated when I found a witch hazel in bloom at the Springfield Botanical Garden…even though I was hoping to see more of them.

Grandniece and grandnephew. I celebrated seeing my sister’s grandchildren when I went to Dallas to visit my father. One is just learning to crawl, and the other is reasonably adept at recognizing/saying colors.

Snow day. A day of staying indoors due to weather – always a time to celebrate. The day seems like a serendipity block of time that I had not anticipated.

Soup. Soup is my favorite meal on cold days. I celebrated finding a quick and tasty one made from ingredients in my freezer: turkey meatballs, corn, broccoli, and edamame….a little seasoning and sometimes left over spaghetti sauce…delicious.  

Sustaining Elder Care – February 2025

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I took three days for my monthly trip to Dallas rather than the usual two. A weather forecast for snow prompted the decision…since it would be impossible to leave early in the morning. There were two appointments I wanted to keep – one to signing tax forms for my dad and the other to complete the set up at his bank so I could sign for him if needed. It turned out that the drive down was not bad. The highways were clear; the first rest stop still has some snow/ice remnants but even that had melted way by the time I was mid-way through Oklahoma.

I got to Dallas early enough to see my dad on my that first day…and two more times before I left to come home. During my recent visits, I’ve noticed my father’s further decline each month – both physical and mental. He rarely can complete a sentence now and tends to look at his feet when he stands up and walks (hunched over) with the walker. The cold weather keeps him from taking walks outside most of the time and the impact on his physical fitness is noticeable. It felt right to see him for the extra day.

He had another round of Covid since my last visit; he appears to have come through OK although he had a few rough days when he was quarantined to his room, and he became concerned that the house was too quiet (thinking he was alone in the assisted living residence). One of my sisters arrived (masked and gloved) at the perfect time to reassure him. And now the house is back to normal with residents out in the shared big room more frequently…and a television on there.

We had a rough time starting a new puzzle on the second afternoon but then did very well the next morning – completing the frame and forging ahead. Dad seemed more adept at finding pieces that fit. Perhaps he is always more alert mentally in the morning. I’ll need to consider that going forward.

I drove home on the third day and it was unexpectedly harder than I thought….foggy and rainy the whole way. The temperature was high enough that I wasn’t worried about ice, but the sheets of water thrown up by the big trucks on the highway along with the wind made for a stressful drive. The 7 hours on the road was exhausting. I was relieved to be home again.

Dallas in Late January

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The drive down to Dallas was harder than usual – rainy and foggy from Missouri and through Oklahoma. The sun was coming out just as I got to Texas and I stopped at the Texas Welcome Center on US 65. The pavement was wet so it had rained recently. The beautyberries in the native plant garden there are evidently not attractive to the birds; even the berries that were not burnt from last summer’s sun were still mostly on the bush.

I noticed a small nest on one of the trees

And a wall near the entrance that was clad in granite…probably coming from somewhere in Texas.

The day warmed up enough by the time I got to Dallas for me to take my dad outside for a walk. It is becoming more difficult for him --- partially because he cannot walk outdoors as frequently in the winter and probably also because his muscles are getting weaker with age. We still made it around the block.

We worked on the puzzle a bit but that is harder now for him too; he can’t see some of the clues on the pieces anymore and is very frustrated.

The next morning I visited him again – working on the puzzle a bit before the assisted living home served breakfast. I left as he was enjoying the food since I had some business I needed to handle before I left Dallas to drive home.

The weather was windy on the way home and I must have been more tired…it was a tough drive and I was exhausted by the time I got home…getting cramps in my hands. Driving seemed more stressful than usual.

But I will do it again soon. I’ll be seeing my dad again on Valentine’s!

Elder Care – December 2024

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There is always a flurry of activity during the holidays. My sisters and I are striving to make the activities we do with my dad enjoyable for him – rather than confusing/traumatic which can happen when a person does not understand the world as well as they did previously.

My sisters decorated his room for fall/Thanksgiving. I’m not sure how much he noticed because he didn’t comment about them. But they were decorations from his home before before he moved to assisted living. We all felt that continuing with the decorations was better than stopping the tradition.

He seemed to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast at my sister’s home. Another sister brought him from the assisted living place, there were only 4 other people for the feast, the meal was simpler than our Thanksgiving meals from the past (fewer choices), and he was back ‘home’ in about 3 hours.  I celebrated that the thoughtful accommodations seemed to work!

Now his room has been decorated from Christmas and a version of the display that was on the mantle of his home in previous years in on the mantle at the assisted living home where all the residents can enjoy it. Even if he doesn’t remember it from before – I hope that he enjoys the beauty of it now.

There are some rooms that have become available at the assisted living home; my sisters and I briefly talked about whether we want to move him to a different room – either slightly bigger or with a window with a better view; we decided it was not a good idea. It would be hard for him to adjust to the move …remembering where his new room was located would be challenging for him. He seems to feel secure and comfortable where he is now and knows where his room is from the shared areas of the house.

I’ll see him after Christmas this month!

2024 in Review – Life Events

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This is the first post reviewing what happened to me in 2024; I’m starting with the big events.

2024 included a bigger-than-usual event…perhaps even a pivot point in my life: my mother died. We had shared our lives for over 70 years; no one else can fill the gap completely. The months leading up to her death (hospitalization, moving to assisted living, rallying, COVID-19) and the immediate aftermath (the funeral, selling my parents’ house, finalizing her financial affairs, comforting my father) are still fresh in my memory. I’m not completely sure that the pivot is complete even now. My relationship with my siblings (3 sisters) is still changing.

All the other events of 2024 are not as life changing:

Taking the Identifying Wood Plants class at Missouri State University and the Missouri Master Naturalist training were an important step back to pre-COVID times. Both have prompted an uptick in volunteering and discovering ‘favorite places’ close to home.

Attending a funeral for my cousin. She was more than a decade younger than me, and we had not seen each other frequently in recent years. It happened not that long after my mother’s death and the sadness was quite different…for a life that ended early.

I made many short trips (day trips, one or two nights away from home) with my daughter. Sometimes with my husband along too. There are so many new places to explore when one moves to a new part of the country. We have been here in Missouri for 2.5 years and there still seems a lot to see for the first time within the ‘short trip’ range.

Sustaining Elder Care – November 2024

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I have two book/puzzle sorting days at my community library before I go off to Dallas again…I am hoping to find some more 300-piece puzzles to take for my Dad. I think he is probably running a bit low and maybe my sister is bringing some older ones back that he hasn’t done recently. We don’t have as many 300-piece as we do 500…and those 500-piece ones are getting too hard for him.

The past month has been more stressful in terms of elder care than I anticipated. There is a disagreement between us daughters about whether he is having pain when he eats and he needs his food ground up. Observations of him eating are not consistent. We have asked the dentist he saw last to make an assessment….since to make the change in mealtime routine for the assisted living staff will require a doctor’s order.  On the plus side – I don’t think my dad is aware of the turmoil. Most of the interaction among my sisters and I is via text; I’ve stopped looking at the messages about an hour before bedtime to try to reduce the impact on my sleep. It’s also caused me to start thinking more about what I want my relationship with my sisters to be separate from our shared interest in our father’s well-being.

Sustaining Eldercare – October 2024

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A big worry in any group living situation with older people – something contagious going around - seemed to be happening in late September. Dad developed upper respiratory congestion and was not feeling well at all; the medication his doctor prescribed made his balance even more precarious but appeared to help him otherwise. No one else in the assisted living residence had it so it might have been a seasonal allergy flare up. He is the only resident that goes outdoors on a regular basis – for his walks around the block and to help water plants around the patio. He is back to normal at this point and the family is very relieved.

We are continuing to enjoy jigsaw puzzles with him. There are some clues that don’t work for him anymore – like tiny writing on a puzzle piece; his eyesight is not good enough to read the words.

One of my sisters took a closer look at his toothbrush and electric shaver recently. The toothbrush needs to be replaced, and the electric shaver looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned for a long time. Since both of those things are items we need to provide for him, we should have been monitoring them more closely. We are good about the things we do for him daily (like putting out clothes for the next day) but probably need a list of things we check periodically (like the toothbrush and electric shaver)! The other toiletries – like toothpaste and lotion and soap – were already on our radar and there are extras of those things already available under the sink of his bathroom.

He has been living in the assisted living residence for 10 months now. My sisters and I are still tweaking how we best support him…some is just to be expected since we want to be responsive as his needs change, but other tweaks are discoveries for us of things we should have been doing proactively all along (like checking the toothbrush and the electric razor).

Sustaining Elder Care – September 2024

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The past month has been challenging with one sister still traveling and another exposed to COVID (disrupting her visits to my dad). We have still sustained our goal for someone in the family to see him every day.

He is changing a bit too…often wanting to go to bed much earlier than usual. That compresses the time for us to have a good visit with him. Sometimes he will get up when one of us arrives and work on the puzzle or go for a walk if it is still light outside. It helps that the weather is not quite as hot as it was in August.

I found 9 puzzles at a used book/puzzle sale done by the Springfield MO libraries and my sister that it traveling has purchased puzzles at some of the places she visited. One of the ones I found might be kept until closer to Christmas rather than leaving it for him to do now.

The staff at his assisted living home has encouraged us to proactively reduce the clutter in his room so his day-to-day activities are less confusing to him. We’ve cleared surfaces by putting some things in enclosed storage areas and reduced the numbers of linens (he had more than double what he needed!). We took away shoes and clothes that he doesn’t wear any more. We tried to transition him from jeans to pull-on type pants and discovered that he wants to stay with the jeans!

His medical team which makes house calls for his checkups has done bloodwork, and he is in good health. But he is over 90 and some days he feels better than others.

One of my sisters is looking for ways to use his television screen to provide visually interesting slideshows; he is not interested in watching television shows or the news anymore. Hopefully we can do some experimenting over the next month to see if we can develop another activity he can enjoy.

Ten Little Celebrations – August 2024

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The heat of summer is still with us…but there are signs of fall too. Lots to celebrate in August.

Road trip adventures that didn’t become problems. In the first hour of my road trip to Dallas I saw a skunk and an overturned semi-truck. The skunk abled away from the road (i.e. did not become roadkill) and the semi was on the oposite side of the highway!

Finding puzzles. Keeping the supply of puzzles coming for my dad at his assisted living home is a little more challenging since he requires ones with 500 or fewer pieces…and they can’t be small pieces. I was celebrated a couple for a reasonable price and the used book/puzzles sale from Friends of the Library is coming up in a few days where I should be able to get a good supply for $2 each.

A cooler than expected morning in Dallas. My dad likes to take walks in the neighborhood where he lives so I celebrated the morning when I was there was cool enough for the activity (it didn’t start raining until a couple of hours later when I was starting the drive back to Missouri).

Getting the whole yard mowed. I am celebrating that my stamina has improved enough that I can mow the whole yard on one day (my husband made it a little easier by buying an extra battery so I’m more confident of having enough power for the mower even if the grass is a little wet).

A rainy day. It’s been a drier August than usual. I celebrated when I heard it raining in the early morning hours.

Starting the stepping stone path in the new garden area. The narrow grassy area between a pine tree and our flower beds that I am converting to other plants is progressing well this summer. It is currently a compost area for grass clippings, pine needles, and leaves. The hostas that I planted last spring in the area are doing well. I celebrated the milestone of putting done the first two stepping stones that will lead from the patio to the yard through the area.

No tax day for school supplies/clothes. Both my husband and I intentionally made some purchases on Missouri’s no tax weekend for school supplies/clothes…celebrating the annual starting of a new school year. He got 2 pair of jeans and I got some packs of card stock: black and bright colors.

Registering/starting a class at the university. I am celebrating being back in a university classroom after more than 40 years. It feels good!

Multiple types of fungus on a stump in a neighbor’s yard. The stump is deterioating rapidly now. I’m celebrating that there are interesting fungi doing the work.

The Paris Olympics. Celebrating the efforts and sportsmanship of the athletics…seeing their dedication and joy.

Then and Now – Photography

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Photography has changed a lot between the 1960s and now.

My mother was the photographer in my family and, as we got old enough, she allowed us to use her camera. It was an Instamatic that had a flash cube option. Film was expensive enough that we were careful to make the most of each shot. I remember sending off the rolls of film to be developed…another expense. She had taken pictures of us as babies earlier (in the 1950s) – with a camera I don’t remember – and the images were all black and white. By the mid-1960s, there are more family images in color. She often wrote on the back of the pictures: date, names of people, location.

Cameras that produced digital images became broadly available in the 1990s and now a lot of images are produced with our Smartphones. The two ‘cameras’ I used now are a Canon Powershot SX70 HS and an iPhone 15 Pro Max. The Canon is best for instances where I need the optical zoom capability (for bird and butterfly photography, for example) and I find that I can hold it steadier than the phone (i.e. the form of the camera is easier to ‘hand hold’ than the phone) The iPhone is best for macro photography. The iPhone also has the advantage of being with me almost all the time.

There are many advanced functions on both cameras. The only one I find that I use is the ‘night scene’ one that stacks low light images into a single image. Both of my cameras have the function…and it works well.

Digital cameras allow easy review of pictures immediately which shortens the photographic learning curve – no waiting until the film is developed to see if the image captured was as anticipated. I love to experiment with different settings to create high key images…and reduce the ‘burn out’ in part of the image on sunny days.

There are a lot of ways to edit pictures now – both in the ‘camera’ and post processing. I choose not to use any of them except cropping. It makes me uncomfortable to change an image to something the camera did not ‘see’ --- and it’s not something I want to spend time doing. I challenge myself to get the image I want with the camera I have! With the optics and image stabilization that cameras have today that is not as hard as it was in the 1960s.

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Then and Now – Cars and Driving

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The first car I remember well was in the 1960s – a small red Ford my father bought for my mother. It did not have air conditioning…or seat belts (it was before they became standard equipment in the later 1960s). The windows were opened/closed manually with a handle. There were no car seats for children either although my mother generally put my sisters and I in the back seat. I was the oldest so sometimes road in the front seat. It did have power steering and brakes…probably because my mother was not very good driving with a manual transmission. The car was the second for our household and was parked at the curb since my father’s car was parked in the one-car garage.

My father’s car did have air conditioning and was larger. He started buying new cars (Oldsmobile or Buick were his preferred make) almost every year in by 1963; my mother got to drive his older car and they traded in her car. Those cars had windows that opened and closed with a button. I remember the first car my father owned that had seatbelts because he had a serious accident in it; a truck sideswiped the car on the driver’s side and he always claimed that he would not have survived if he’d been wearing a seatbelt since he was pushed to the passenger side during the accident. It took several years before he started wearing seat belts consistently and even more years before he took his keys/locked his car when he parked it. I also remember my father’s first car that has radial tires in the late 1960s; the road noise was noticeably different.

Most of our road trips were to visit family members. My mother drove my sisters and I to visit her parents (aunt, uncles, cousins) at least once every summer. The trek was between Wichita Falls TX and Beggs OK and was a lot of 2 lane roads…often very curvy. We took food and drink with us…stopped at gasoline stations for the bathrooms (which were usually in bad shape). My mother was not a great driver…but she knew her limitations and never had an accident. She shared that when she first learned to drive, she tended to look at the front of the car when she was driving; my dad noticed shortly after they married and coached her to look further out – to become a more defensive driver.

I learned to drive in the two cars my parents were driving at the time (a large Oldsmobile and Buick) later in the 1960s. My driver’s ed class emphasized wearing seat belts and I convinced my whole family we needed to ‘buckle up’ consistently.  Both of my parents encouraged me to drive whenever I was in the car with them as soon as I got my learner’s permit; I got my driver’s license on my 16th birthday and became the designated driver for my younger sisters and my parents when I was available. I didn’t have my own car until after the 1960s.

Now – the car I drive is smaller – a plug-in hybrid (2017 Prius Prime). The air conditioning and heating has a thermostat rather than the 1960s switch controls. Perhaps the equivalent of the big Buicks and Oldsmobiles of the 1960s are the SUVs that are very popular now. The cruise control is adaptive. Many of the controls are digital rather than switches. The navigation system is a big improvement over a collection of paper maps or a road atlas kept in the car at all times. There are handy places to put drinks that were absent in the 1960s cars. My car has a hatch opening in the back rather than the enclosed trunk of the big 1960s cars; SUVs also have an opening in the back that connects to the interior of the car. The seatbelts (one unit lap and cross body) are more comfortable than the clunky lap belts and then clucky two-piece lap/shoulder belts of the 1960s. The bucket seats in front have more adjustments than the bench seats of the 1960s and the material covers are more durable. Cars frequently last for 100,000 miles or more now; that was very unusual in the 1960s.

Cars have improved a lot since the 1960s – in both function and durability - and driving is easier because of those improvements and the highway system that has matured (although it often needs maintenance). My frequent road trips would certainly be more challenging/less enjoyable in a 1960s car and on 1960s style roads!

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