Transition Trips to Carrollton TX

I’ve now made two trips to Texas since the beginning of the year and am planning a third. They are very different than before my parents moved to an assisted living group home.

  • I am not staying at their home. On the first trip, I stayed at a hotel relatively close to their group home. The second trip I stayed with my niece. The hotel turned out to be high stress because the deadbolt on my room was jammed (i.e. the chain was the only extra locking on the door). Staying with my niece was low stress for me but probably high stress for her.

  • Visits with my parents were short…not 24/7 like previously. I anticipated that change…but it still feels odd…like I am missing a lot. At the same time, I am much less anxious about how they are doing when me or my sisters are not there.

  • My sisters and I worked to get the house cleaned out and listed for sale. This is the first time I’ve been guiding the sale of a house that is not my own…and I am glad that the technology is there to allow for me to do part of it remotely. We got 2 full price offers on the 1st day it was on the market and have accepted one of them. We still have the garage and storage sheds to clear. We have the milestone of the closing by the end of the month. There is still the physical and emotional work of cleaning out items collected over my parents’ lives that they no longer need. The unseasonably warm weather has helped.

  • I stopped at Hagerman once…went to Josey Ranch twice…but didn’t spend as much time there. I stopped at a greenway park I hadn’t noticed before on the second trip. The places I get out into nature in Texas are going to be changing to parks closer to where my parents are living now…in Dallas rather than Carrollton.

  • We had joked about observing the 4/8 eclipse from my parents’ driveway…but the house will that theirs by that time. I am realizing how many family events centered on the location over the past 30+ years. It will feel strange to not go there anymore.

The transition is happening so quickly with their move to assisted living in early January and the sale of their home finalized at the end of February. It is hard emotionally and physically, but it is also not a prolonged agony. My sisters and I are looking forward to a new normal in March!

Holiday Decorations

This December is going to be a unique one for me…away from home….focused on other priorities…somewhat stressed by the situation. I am savoring the decorations two of my sisters arranged at my parents’ house:

The wreath on the door…

The reindeer and poinsettias on the mantle…

The big wreath on the wall…

These are all decorations that have been used in previous years…associated with pleasant memories of past Decembers, prompting us to prepare for celebrating an anniversary, a birthday, and Christmas that are all part of our family celebrations in December. The month has always be an emotional high…and this year there is the overlay of realizing that it is probably the last one for my parents in this house.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had big plans for Thanksgiving at my home in Missouri – sharing a meal with my daughter and son-in-law. The planned menu was: pumpkin soup, balsamic vinaigrette baked chicken, sauteed green beans with sesame seeds, spicy cornbread (with cheese and whole kernel corn), apple cranberry crisp. With everyone contributing some part of the feast (but all cooked in my kitchen).

But the plan was overtaken by the reality of a parent in a Texas hospital and them coming home just in time for the holiday. The change has only made my thanksgiving more profound this year; I am thankful that my parent survived a near death event more than a decade ago – there are so many wonderful shared memories of those years! And we’ll savor whatever new memories we can make this Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to us all.