Evaluating Memory Care Facilities – Again
/My sisters and I have decided the niggling issues with my dad’s current assisted living/memory care situation have become significant enough for us to research moving him to a different facility. The main issues are:
The staff yells rather than coming to get him for meals. He thinks all the yelling is directed at him (even when the are yelling for someone else to come).
He is alone in his room a lot.
His fingernails are always dirty, and the staff does not clean his electric razor.
When he doesn’t like a meal (usually because he can’t chew the meat well), they don’t offer anything else even though we provide protein shakes for that issue.
Things seem to disappear – clothes, towels, combs.
Some of the appealing aspects of the place we chose 2 years ago don’t matter as much now. For example, he is no longer physically able to walk in the beautiful neighborhood; he doesn’t see well enough to see the details of the trees and small garden near the patio which we have planted/watered although he does enjoy the yard furniture on the patio when it’s not too hot or cold. The smaller setting of a former house turned into assisted living/memory care has not led to interactions or friendships with the staff or other residents as we expected.
I am being more thorough when I look for a place now and I have a checklist that I cobbled together from various sources(https://alzni.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/assisted-living-checklist.pdf, https://www.agingtogether.org/uploads/1/3/0/9/130908318/memory_care_checklist.pdf, and https://www.aplaceformom.com/caregiver-resources/articles/memory-care-checklist).
I have three places that I am looking at in detail. I’ve looked at their websites and made an appointment for a tour. My sister filled in some of the checklist for one of them and I have incorporated the answers she got into the checklist I will use when I do the tour with them.
All of them are larger than where he is now…more institutional. They have more specialized staff because of their size – nurses in the facility on weekdays and on call the rest of the time, a chef. My sisters and I feel the responsibility making the best decision for him and his ongoing needs. We acknowledge that the move will not be without some anxiety for him and for us…but we are doing everything we can to make sure it will be better him (after the settling in time).
