Sustaining Elder Care – October 2026
/It was dark when I started my monthly trek to Texas to see my dad. I saw the beginning of sunrise in my rear-view mirror but the clouds had closed in by the time I made my first stop. The second stop was a little better…patches of sky. I noticed the worn paint in a handicapped parking space; the white seemed to be more durable than the blue.
There is only one road level train crossing along my 6.5-hour drive – and, this time, there was a train! The sky was almost clear. By the time I got to Texas it was sunny….pleasantly in the upper 70s temperature wise.
My dad was in the eating area when I arrived – apparently simply napping after he finished lunch. I woke him up and took him for walk – around to the activity room and then outdoors for a couple of laps around the courtyard.
His itching that dominated my visit in September was seemingly gone but he was walking much more hunched over than ever before and keeping his eyes closed. It is hard to tell whether he can still see light or not; he needs help to find the handles of his walker with his hands and he needs someone to guide his walker. On the plus side – he can still push himself off from a chair to stand up and then walk using the walker for support.
There has been turnover of the staff at his memory care place, and they tend to help him more than he needs sometimes…but that is probably a safe thing. He needs help eating now that he can’t see his food. I got there for breakfast…he seemed to be sleeping but said he was still hungry when I woke him up and I fed him the rest of his eggs and put his hands around a glass of orange juice; he drank all of it without any more prompting or help from me!
He is probably the oldest resident in the place – in his mid-90s – but in some ways one of the easier ones to help. His memory is not good, but he remembers to say thank you!
I left him in the care of one of the staff to head back to Missouri. As I began the drive, my mood was somber. On a conscious level, I know that he is in hospice….losing his eyesight is something he cannot overcome mentally, and it impacts his physical condition too. He is fading away. I am internalizing that sometime soon one of my monthly trips to Texas will be the last time I will see him.
