Sustaining Elder Care – June 2026

I’ve been keeping up with the changes occurring with my dad through text messages with my sisters…my June trip to Lewisville is still a week away.

He fell twice at night (getting up to go to the bathroom). The first time he was examined and then put back to bed…and then when the morning crew arrived, they found his bed was a mess because he had not been taken to the bathroom after he fell! The second time he fell was a few days later. His knees took the brunt of both falls (bruises…some scratches).

My sisters worked with the hospice and memory care staff to make changes. His room was rearranged to make navigation easier, and the memory care staff proactively get him up to use the bathroom at night. He hasn’t fallen again….so perhaps the changes are sufficient for now.

His eyesight has been failing and now he apparently is totally blind – cannot see light. He can’t articulate the change, but events have helped us conclude that it has happen. For example, my sister discovered him in the bathroom facing the back of the shower when she arrived one morning; fortunately, his walker has a seat, and he had thought to sit down. He told her there was nowhere for him to go! The combination of dementia and blindness is probably an insurmountable challenge for him; his blindness is a change, and his mental confusion makes it impossible for him to learn ways to deal with it.

The memory care staff try to include him in activities that he previously enjoyed just a few months ago. They put him in a wheelchair for a live music event, but he slept the whole time.

My sisters have commented that he is sleeping more (his sleeping had already been increasing before the falls). There are times when they visit that he is asleep most of the time now.

We all think he is winding down…and are thankful that when he is awake, he is courteous even when he is frustrated that his body will no longer work well enough for him to move about easily. He still enjoys frozen desserts (ice cream or lemon ice)!

Sustaining Elder Care – March 2026

My dad is going to be 95 this month. We had an adventure with him in the hospital before that could happen. The original problem that was causing abdominal pain resolved on its own within about 24 hours, but the ramification of the ancillary medications (primarily to reduce anxiety) had the effect of increasing his anxiety and keeping him awake and active until he was exhausted. An MRI was ordered after the first anti-anxiety dose, but he could not tolerate the machine for enough time to complete it. The drug reaction prolonged his stay in the hospital, and we are/were amazed that the doctors wanted to continue to dose him; my sisters and I had to insist that they stop giving him the drug and allow him to return to his normal.

I drove down on his first day in the hospital and spent 4 nights with him. My other three sisters coordinated to stay with him during the day. The window in his hospital room faced the east so I had a good view of the sunrise; there was only one cloudy morning…otherwise the sunrises were gorgeous even with the blinds in the way! They did not make up for the collective angst that my sisters and I experienced at the hospital.

My dad received some PT later his stay to regain some mobility he had lost the first days of his hospitalization. We realized by the third day that, for him, going to the hospital was never going to be a net positive and we started the process to transition him to hospice care. It was a decision that my sisters and I all agreed on immediately. He was released from the hospital after being there for 5 days/nights. It didn’t take long after we got to his apartment his memory care facility for him to realize that he was home…and smile.

The transition to hospice started out well with a new bed and wheelchair delivered to his apartment before he returned. We are still tweaking the arrangement – adjusting what the memory care and hospice staff will do to support my dad’s situation. It seems to be going relatively well although we are all still in ‘transition’ and seeking to understand what his needs are. There have been several instances where he seems to be making little jokes and looking mischievous as a kid; it helps that he seems happy with what has happened even though he likely doesn’t understand it all.