quote — 2014 — The 21st Century Matriarch

Power is the ability to take one’s place in whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one’s part matter. - Carolyn G. Heilbrun in Writing a Woman’s Life

What do you think about this definition of power? It is easy to accept it as common sense. The definition is appealing to me because, with this definition, power does not require physical strength, large size, or even superior intellect. Power is something that can we wielded by just about anyone that makes a choice to do it. It may require sacrifice and perseverance. In this book, Heilbrun uses short biographical sketches of the lives of women writers to illustrate how they overcame the obstacle of their gender to become writers. Much of what they experienced is the same for women that took any role that happened to be non-traditional in their society. No one goes against the norms of society without some hardship.

The book was originally published in the late 1980s and still seems very relevant. I recommend it both for the perspective on the history of women writers in particular and women’s struggle to “take one’s place in whatever discourse is essential to action” in general.

It’s our mothers who teach us how to live in the world. And we think forward through our daughters, if we are mothers, and beyond them to their daughters. - Roxana Robinson in her essay for Barbara Graham’s Eye of my Heart

I enjoyed every essay in this book written by grandmothers about their view of themselves in the role. Each was a learning experience having not been thrust into that role yet in my own life. All of the essays had some positives --- but every single thing was not rosy. Relationships are complex.

The book reminds me of my relationship to my grandmothers and my relationship to my mother as she became a grandmother to my daughter. I remember the good times and have to think hard to remember ones that were not positive in the end. I am surprised to realize that my grandmothers were about 20 years younger than I am now when they became grandmothers and that my mother was a grandmother by the time she was my age (although only a few years younger). My generation waited until relatively later to have children. I have known 5 generations of my family (2 great-grandmothers, 4 grandparents, 2 parents, 3 siblings, 1 child) already; because we are living longer, many people know 7 generations in their lifetime.

Another realization - the role of grandmother is something we are granted rather than choose - a role to savor if it happens. This book provides look into the many ways ‘savoring’ is done.