Achieving a Room of Your Own

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Virginia Woolf wrote “A woman must have … a room of her own if she is to write fiction" in her book A Room of One’s Own. It turns out that most people need such a place where they can be entirely themselves and by themselves - whether or not they want to write fiction. We need it for spiritual renewal and deep thinking…to be fully aware of our life…to center and be resilient to the surprises life brings. It is the place for study and contemplation…for planning…for doing things we want to do by ourselves without constant interaction with anyone. It is our own personal cave.

How do you achieve a room of your own? Here are some ideas: 

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  • Identify space.
    • Optimally, this space is an actual room that is just for you all the time.
    • Next best is a space that can be yours for designated parts of the day - any day that you want it. This could be a corner of your bedroom while your spouse is enjoying their own cave somewhere else in the house. It could be the kitchen table when everyone else in the household is away from home.
    • Another option is a public place where you will be alone even if there are other people around. It doesn’t have to be an actual room to fulfill your ‘room of your own’ requirement. It could be a kiosk in a library, a park bench, your car parked at a scenic overlook, a booth in a diner. It is a ‘virtual room of your own.’ Maybe doing something like this occasionally is worthwhile to give oneself new perspective.
    • Furnish the space in a way that supports what you want to do there. It could be a computer, good lighting, and comfortable office chair. It could be lots of surface area for art projects. It could be a rocker recliner and television. Will you go somewhere else for food or do you want food available in the room?
    • Think about the view from the room.
      • What is it like at night…during the day? I like to have plenty of lighting for at night but generally only have the small desk lamp on rather than all the lights. I like the glow of candles and the shadows in the corners. During the day I like to have a great view from the window visible from where I sit.
      • Items in the room that don’t have function but make it appealing to you are important too. I like glass boxes for paper clips, peacock feathers, and wind chimes hung from the mini-blind frame. On the walls I have Georgia O’Keeffe posters, a white board and some metal sculpture.
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Remember - your room will be unique to you. Where it is and what is in it must be tailored to fit perfectly with how you want it be. It doesn’t take a lot of money; it does take thinking about what you need and want.

Quote of the Day - 03/01/2012

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The most promising words every written on the maps of human knowledge are terra incognita - unknown territory. - Daniel J. Boorstin in The Discoverers

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The unknown. It is appealing and a little scary at the same time. There are so many areas ‘on the map of human knowledge’ that are still unknown. New bacteria...planets and stars…how the complex chemistry of the human body actually works. As a society, we still have a lot to discover.

On a more individual level - there is our own personal ‘unknown territory.’ Focusing on it requires us to retain the curiosity of our younger selves for our whole life; it is the drive that keeps us learning new things. What ‘unknown territory’ are you exploring today?

Recipe of the Week: Mincemeat Tea Muffins

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1 cup cups whole wheat flour

1 cup oats (pulsed in a food processor)

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

1 tablespoon chia seeds (optional)

1 teaspoon lemon peel (optional)

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon cloves

1 teaspoon nutmeg

4 tablespoons buttermilk powder

1 cup tea

½ cup olive oil

1 1/2 cup mincemeat

In a large bowl, mix dry ingredients (flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, chia seeds, lemon peel, spices, and buttermilk powder). Whisk tea, olive oil, and mincemeat in a large measuring cup. Pour liquids into dry ingredients. Mix until blended. Fill muffin pans about 2/3 full. Bake in 350 degree F oven until brown and a toothpick comes out clean.

The story behind this recipe: It all started with the jar of mincemeat on the discount table at the grocery store. Evidently they only stock it during the winter holidays so they were get rid of what they had left. I couldn’t resist. The recipe for Mincemeat Tea Cake in an old Christmas oriented cookbook sounded good. I made some changes -

 

  • Whole wheat flour rather than white flour
  • Half the flour replaced with oats
  • Added chia seeds
  • Added lemon peel
  • Used buttermilk powder and tea rather than buttermilk
  • Added applesauce
  • Did not add any sugar (the original recipe called for 1 cup sugar!)
  • Muffins instead of a cake

 

OK - so it is pretty far from the original recipe. They are very good breakfast muffins. Just sweet enough…not too much. I also discovered other uses for mincemeat:

 

  • Cover top of raw shredded sweet potato with mincement…moisten with tea…bake for an hour. Yummy side dish.
  • Mix mincemeat with some olive oil and use as a dressing for fruit or cabbage salad. It worked well with apple/raisin/celery salad (I think of this as ‘Not my Mother’s Waldorf’ Salad)
  • To make a sauce for stir fry…a little goes a long way. I added extra ginger.

 

Maybe I should have bought two jars instead of one from that discount table!

Quote of the Day - 02/29/2012

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Everything mourns for the forgotten, For its own springtime dream - Anna Akhmatova in The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova

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We are forging into springtime (in the northern hemisphere) - the grand reawakening of all outdoors after the ‘sleep’ of winter. It’s is easy to spot something growing fresh and new…to be caught up in the wonder of the present and lean toward to make the future…warm summer fruits and bountiful harvest of fall.

In the midst of this waking dream of springtime, we sometimes have a niggling at the edges of our thoughts for things not quite remembered or maybe not known at all. This brings an overlay of nostalgia to springtime. For me ‘mourns for the forgotten’ does not exactly describe it. It is a savoring of what I do remember and recognition that there are some things I will never know. I’ll never know any details of my great-grandparents relationship or what really happened to my grandfather’s older sister that died as a teenager or my great-grandmother’s feelings about leaving behind all her family in Europe or how my great grandfather’s fiddle playing sounded.

March Celebrations

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March is just about here. What is there to celebrate? Here are some ideas:

St. Patrick’s Day on the 17th. You don’t have to be Irish to enjoy the green. My favorite green drink is a mint chocolate milk shake but there are plenty of others. Celtic fiddle music and dancing also are popular ways to celebrate the day.


Kites. March is breezy and the temperatures getting a bit warmer make is easier to indulge in outdoor activities. March is a great month to dig out the kites from the closet and enjoy their flutters overhead. Many communities have kite festivals during March. The one in Washington DC is associated with the Cherry Blossom Festival and will be held on 3/31.






Cherry blossoms (and other flowering trees). Washington DC is celebrating 100 years of the gift from Japan this year so there are a lot of extra events from March through mid-April. The dogwoods and fruit trees will begin to bloom in many parts of the country in March … so take a walking or driving tour through an area where they grow.
 

 

 

 

 

Early flowers. Crocus, daffodils, hyacinths, tulips…the early blooms of the year. Celebrate spring in a garden - either your own or a public one.

 

Quote of the Day - 2/28/2012

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I live the history that I can tell.  And of course the history today in books that’s written a lot is not really the true thing, as it was lived. – May Wing as quoted by Susan Armitage and Elizabeth Jameson in The Women's West

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Most of us probably start out thinking ‘history is history’ and we learn whatever is required for the test. But later we realize that history is quite complex and reflects the perspective of its author(s). One good analogy is that in most cases, history is a thread, rather than the woven cloth, of the past. Eventually we may construct a cloth but it is still loosely woven and rather forlorn compared to real life.

Of course, individuals have their own field of view and even living through important events of their time provides as single viewpoint of the event. A life is more than a linear series of events.

The passage of time is sometimes helpful to the extent that the threads having the greatest impact on the present can be traced back. Even then - the perspective of the person doing the track back influences selection.

Older pioneer women have often expressed the sentiment that ‘a lot is not really the true thing, as it was lived’ and some of their stories have been captured. Those efforts have enriched the historical ‘cloth’ for that time period but also made me more cognizant of how narrow the perspective is in traditional history.

Fifty years from now will the challenge not be a lack of perspective of this time but the tangle of threads - a myriad of perspectives…that won’t fit neatly into a woven cloth of history at all.

Brookside Gardens Conservatory - Feb. 26

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Yesterday I posted about the outdoors part of our walk around Brookside Gardens and Nature Center. Today the post is about the Brookside Gardens conservatory. As always it was a lush, moist stroll.

The banana palm has a bunch of green fruits and the bird-of-paradise is blooming. I photographed them so many times before that I focused on other plants this  time. The colors nestled in the greenery were a delightful contrast to the browns still outdoors.

Colors that blend and mimic sunrise/sunset...colors that are delicate and hint at fruit to come...luxurious purple. Petals delicate and sturdy - some that look like dragons that can snap or start out like folded oragamy papers or unfurl to flutter individually from their interlocked bud.

And then there are the plants that point their flowers downward...to the side...or upward to soak in the sun.

The conservatory always has something worth seeing. 

Quote of the Day - 2/27/2012

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The significant fact about women in fiction as in life, is that after youth and childbearing are past, they have no plot, there is no story to be told about them. – Carolyn Heilbrun as quotes by Terri Apter in Secret Paths: Women in the New Midlife

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Really? It certainly seems to be a frequent perspective in popular media…that doesn’t make it a ‘fact’ though. Does this reflect what is going on in society or simply turning a blind eye? It seems largely out of step with the trends in the past 40 years. With the baby boomer women becoming part of the ‘after youth and childbearing’ set, they are a demographic that will have financial and emotional clout for years to come.

It bothers me to think that any major life segment would be such that ‘there is no story to be told about them.’ For many women, the ‘after youth and childbearing’ stage of their life may be over 40 years! The women I know in this phase are doing so many things….there are new stories that they tell on themselves and others every time I see them. They are matriarchs…enjoying the plot and story of their lives.

Brookside Nature Center and Gardens - February 26

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It was cool but sunny at Brookside Gardens and Nature Center in Montgomery County Maryland today. The nature center held a Maple Sugar Festival...complete with tasting of the clear sap from trees as well as ices made with the finished maple syrup. The contrast in sweetness between the sap and the syrup is pretty dramatic. The day should have been good for sap dripping into the buckets on the trees (cold nights, warmer days) but none were dripping while we were there. The event was well attended; we were fortunate to find a close in space in the parking lot for the Gardens visitor center. 

There are the beginning of spring in the garden with some fruit trees blooming...and the very early blooming bulbs (snowdrops and crocus). Lenten roses are blooming too. Daffodils are starting but now near their peak. The tulips have barely sprouted. At this time of year the shelf fungus on fallen trees is particularly noticeable because there is no foliage to hide it.

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I'll post some photos from the Brookside Gardens Conservatory later in the week. It was a great day for for an early spring photography outing.

Quote of the Day - 2/26/2012

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Brilliance in youth does not guarantee worth in maturity. - Isabel Allende in Daughter of Fortune

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Brilliance. Isn’t it strange that there would even be an assumption that ‘brilliance in youth’ would correlate to ‘worth in maturity?’ Yet - somehow our culture hones in on how ‘smart’ a child is more than any other characteristic. When positive differentiation occurs in school - it is most frequently based on criteria of brilliance. We know it is imperfect but it can reduce the complexity of the school by grouping the students into more similar groups…and then curriculum/teaching can be more finely honed to their needs. It works very well for some students…but not all.

In a perfect world, learning opportunities would be abundant and tuned to the individual rather than a group…and brilliant or not so brilliant…everyone would have the opportunity to develop a ‘worth in maturity.’

Worth. Oftentimes we associate ‘worth’ with how much we are paid or have accumulated. That is a quick way to quantify worth but is it the whole story? For some it might be…for others it is clear that their value…their worth…to their family or community is much higher than the quantification would indicate. For example - someone that cares for young children may not have a high salary but the worth of that job to the families of the children is tremendous.

In summary -

brilliance transformed into worth

is what we are after. Making the transformation is the key.

Quote of the Day - 2/25/2012

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Houses have a quality of already. - James Applewhite in A History of the River

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I’ve always moved into a house that had been built by someone else…and lived in by other people…before it became my home. So yes - there was a ‘quality of already’ about those houses. There were a host of assumptions and history that could never be known deeply but could be derived broadly from the house itself

The basic layout of the rooms almost always assume a family unit of parents and children rather than parents/adult children or parents/children/grandparents or middle aged couple/elderly parents.

The wear and tear that has happened to the house over the years is also sometimes evident. Did someone bust some sheet rock near the door in the master bedroom? Why is there a bleached place on the carpet in the den?

What about where you live now? Does it ‘have a quality of already?’

Gleanings of the Week Ending February 25, 2012

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The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles I read this past week:

 

 

Quote of the Day - 2/24/2012

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You don’t have to be beautiful; you just have to walk as if you were. - Sherry Conway Appel in From Mother to Daughter: Advice and Lessons for a Good Life

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Your walk is the way you are most often moving through the world…it says a lot about you. As Sherry Conway points out…you don’t have to be - ‘you just have to walk as if you were.’

Do some people watching to confirm the notion for yourself? 

  • What do you think when you see a person walking with their eyes firmly on the ground in front of them or someone that shuffles their feet?
  • Pick a person that has a confident walk. If you saw a still picture of them, would you have the same impression?
  • Alternatively - have you ever seen a picture of someone then met them later and found your first impression of them from the picture at odds with your second impression?

 

So - whatever you want to be - ‘Walk as if you were’ is very sound advice.

Living to 100

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My favorite longevity calculator is one offered at the Living to 100 website. The reason I like it is that, if you answer honestly, it can guide you to making lifestyle changes that will help you stay healthier and probably live longer too.  If you have recent blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc. information for yourself, let the model help you interpret it all.

The first time I used the calculator, I considered it a good baseline and help me prioritize the lifestyle changes I was making. Two years later, I used the calculator again. Although much was the same - two key measurements things had changed: I had lost 20 pounds and the amount of exercise I was getting every week had gone up. The calculator not only calculated more years for me…but also that the quality of those years had a higher probability of being healthy.

I encourage you to use the calculator and decide if some lifestyle tweaks may be worthwhile for you too!

Quote of the Day - 2/23/2012

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Here, write it, or it will be erased by the wind. - Isabel Allende in Of Love and Shadows: A Novel

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The ephemeral ‘it’ captured in writing thereby becoming something longer lasting and sharable across space and time. 

Have you ever noticed that you remember better if you take notes during a lecture/presentation or jot down a few sentences about something you did? It is certainly true for me even if I don’t look at what I wrote ever again. There is something about the physical act of writing that aids memory or learning. It is the bulwark against erasure ‘by the wind.’

Rose Bouquet

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A dozen roses wrapped in cellophane and tissue paper…or maybe in a large crinkly glass vase with a florist's bow.  I like the ones that: 

  • Are the colors of the sunrise. There are so many colors to choose from and it is not even necessary to use a florist; larger grocery stores have a selection.
  • Smell like roses. This is more challenging. Somehow the breeding for beauty and durability has reducing the fragrance in most cases.
  • Start out as slightly opened buds and then unfurl. The partially open flower is the most beautiful to me but I also like the flowers to unfurl and drop their petals so that I can scatter them in a favorite flowerbed.
  • Have healthy stems. It is always a disappointment when the stem begins to bend just a few inches below the flower - either from the weight of the flower or because of some damage to that part of the stem. I cut the stem past the flower end of the bend and float the flower with its shortened stem in a bowl of water.

 

They are a welcome occasional gift; I’d not appreciate them as much if they were bought too frequently. As it is, I get them once or twice a year and they act as a spark to remember the event.

I like roses on their bush even more. I enjoyed a trek through the rose garden in Tyler, Texas a few years ago even though it was a very cold morning (and I did not have a coat with me). And the rose garden is one of my favorite parts of Brookside Gardens….but that will be another post and will have to wait until the roses start their 2012 blooming.

Satisfaction and Joy with Life (Quote of the Day - 2/22/2012)

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Life is a little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over. – Mary Roberts Rhinehart

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This quote is somewhat like ‘Life is short. Eat dessert first!’ - using the word ‘little’ and ‘short’ to point out the potential of our life being ‘all over’ relatively quickly in the scheme of things. The underlying message is to enjoy your life all along the way rather than thinking to wait for some future time.

In recent years, more and more people have attained the ability to appear ‘always working’ with the advent of mobile devices that enable work to be accomplished virtually anywhere and anytime. Farmers - or anyone that cares for animals as part of their work - have always been in this mode so there was really only a short interval in history when most people could easily distinguish between their work/not work time.

For many of us, our definition of work is evolving. Having a component of satisfaction and joy in our work is more important than ever because time boxed ‘balance’ is often not possible. In other words - work/life balance is no longer a viable strategy. Instead - a dynamic mix of activities make up our life. We can categorize a snapshot of our current activies in various ways if that helps us decide their relative value for us. Here's a quick way to do some analysis using the color coded 2x2 matrixes at the bottom of this post: 

  1. Check to make sure you agree with my color coding; make adjustments as needed.
  2. Make a list of activities that are taking the majority of your time. Usually the top 10 or so are the ones to focus on.
  3. For each activity - look at it from all the perspectives in the 2x2 blocks below and note any that are 'non-green' 
  4. Are there activities that have a lot of red? If there are - find a way to stop doing them or to change them in some way to make them more satisfying.
  5. Are there activities that have a lot of yellow? Those may be activities to keep but make sure your motivation for continuing is still great enough to overcome their negative aspects.
  6. For activities that are 'green' - good for you. These are keepers!

 

 

Quote of the Day - 2/21/2012

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The very air here is miraculous, the outlines of reality change with the moment.  The sky sucks up the land and disgorges it.  A dream hangs over the whole region, a brooding kind of hallucination. – John Steinbeck, 1941 as quoted in John Annerino in Canyons of the Southwest: A Tour of the Great Canyon Country from Colorado to Northern Mexico

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I’m remembering vacations in the southwest…both the visual and the warmth…while I am in Maryland with the outdoor temperature in the 20s and the trees still leafless.

The Steinbeck quote evokes the place quite well.

Maybe in all places ‘the outlines of reality change with the moment’ but it is easier to see in the canyons with the ratio of rock to vegetation so high. The shadows have more significance. Consider that ‘the moment’ may be elastic rather than finite time element depending on perspective. What is a moment in the geologic timeline of a canyon?

And the sky. I am drawn to the southwest by the sky as much as anything else. The daytime blue seems so pure…the sunlight so bright. The light bleaches during mid-day or adds golden color in the morning or evening - changing the scenes. The nights are not so polluted with light that the stars blink out. Does just about everyone spend more time looking at the night sky in the Southwest?

Recipe of the Week: Salads without Lettuce

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The best part of the salad is usually not the lettuce – so consider salads that have no lettuce at all. Some of my favorites are below and they must be liked by others as well since some of them appear on salad bars in restaurants. They are easy to make at home...and can easily turn into a whole meal! 

  • Carrot raisin salad. Grated carrots (use a food processor), crushed pineapple (optional) and raisins. The traditional dressing is mayonnaise and honey but I like orange marmalade or honey with olive oil. A good substitute for the carrot is raw sweet potato. It can be easily grated in a food processor and retains its orange color as well as carrots.
  • Green peas and cheese. Frozen green peas (thawed), grated cheese, onions. The traditional dressing is mayonnaise but I like low fat ranch. This can very easily become a brilliant ‘confetti’ salad by adding frozen corn (thawed), small chunks of carrot, and/or diced tomato. To make it a meal, add chunks of ham, chicken, or smoked turkey.
  • Three bean. Canned green beans, wax beans, red/black beans with vinaigrette. I tend to always keep a can of three bean salad in my pantry and add to it since the dressing it comes in is more than adequate. My favorite additions are canned lima beans or green peas (purchased frozen, then thawed. To make it a meal – try adding chunks of smoked turkey or bacon.
  • Cucumber and yogurt. Chopped cucumber, yogurt, garlic, basil, onion flakes. Best if mixed together and left to stand for 10 minutes or so. This can also be processed into a smoothie - ‘salad in a glass.’
  • Cucumber and tomato. Chopped cucumber, diced tomatoes and onions (or onion flakes) in vinaigrette.
  • Left over potato salad. Left over baked potato with skin (chopped with kitchen scissors), hardboiled egg  (chopped), small amount celery with mayonnaise. I usually substitute low fat ranch for the mayonnaise. Add bacon bits to make it a meal.
  • Celery and peanut butter. Clean and cut stalks of celery into manageable lengths. Put glob of peanut butter in ramekin and use as a dip!
  • Finger salad. Cut up your favorite veggies (lots to pick from: celery, cauliflower, broccoli, turnip, carrots, tomatoes, peppers). Put dressing (low fat ranch is my favorite) in a ramekin and use as a dip.
  • Spaghetti squash salad. Rather than pasta salad - try using leftover spaghetti squash instead. Green onions, diced tomatoes, frozen peas…it doesn’t take much to make this a colorful salad. One time I went with all green additions - green onions, frozen peas, celery, and parsley! I like to use a generous amount of a no-salt seasoning blend particularly if the squash does not have very much flavor itself (sometimes it does…and sometimes it doesn’t). A vinaigrette or orange marmalade/olive oil dressing is good although plain yogurt makes a good dressing too. To add some protein - pecans is what I usually pick. If the squash is a bit watery, I add chia seeds to the salad. They’ll make whatever extra water there is into a gel in about 10-15 minutes. 

The list could go on and on….and I haven’t even started with the fruit salads yet! I’ll save those for later blog.

What are your favorite salads without lettuce?

Quote of the Day - 2/20/2012

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Memories are like pearls. They make up a life. You wear them and finger them and recall all you have and have been a part of. - Joan Anderson in A Walk on the Beach: Tales of Wisdom From an Unconventional Woman

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Isn’t this a great analogy? And, carrying it a step further, just think of the pearls we’re forming right now…to add to our rope of pearls…the treasures of our life.